New ideas no sleep
When you think too much the headaches marinate. But sometimes thinking too much can be a good thing. Maybe a great thing.
A good friend once told me you can’t always just chase the money. This same friend also told me no matter how far you run or how out there you become, you can never outrun yourself. I ignored that advice years ago. Call it being a stubborn arrogant 19 year old kid who liked this one particular girl too much. Blame it on this 21 year old girl who liked me too much. The odd couple we were, yet we weren’t even together. Who knows why things happen the way they do.
I smashed my fiero into a dozen oak trees going like 100mph around a ninety degree turn showing off to her. She ruined her reputation hanging with a young punk rocker with no money.
To this day I have no clue what the hell she saw in me. What’s weird is I really never met somebody like her again. Maybe we were just young and stupid. But she accepted me for me even with all my damn issues. Nobody else really did since or before, not even my ex wife. I mean I was a broke punk rock kid going to college making like 5 bucks an hour. She was the girl every guy fell in love with and drueled over.
We met in college and pretty much hung out over the next few years. But like most things in life times change. I moved away and so did she and we lost contact over the years. I did bump into her and her mom a couple years later and we were going to stat in touch. We never did.
I’ve always been a person chasing technology, chasing money, chasing bigger and better things. I’ve also been a person who wanted to travel the world. No money and very little time off as a contractor meant my only option was to find gigs or jobs in various cities. It was fun. But was I ever happy? I do like money but I’m also an adrenaline junkie and a person with multiple interests. So who knows what to think.
So recently I had a conversation with my roommate about various things. Funny how certain things come full circle. The running from problems and just jumping for money advice was front and center again. Except this time I might have to listen. Maybe I’m not as stubborn or arrogant or dumb as I used to be all those years ago. Maybe I’m just getting older. Whatever it is I need to start doing things I’m more passionate about, even if it’s just part time for now. Or even if it’s just as a hobby.
Just do it as they say and stop letting certain people cloud my life and ruin my days and weeks and months. I’m not getting any younger. I used to have all these ideas and plans. I lost those feelings for a long while. It’s time to find those feelings and passions once again.
I do wonder whatever happened to that girl I once knew all those years ago. Is she married? How many kids does she have? And what does she look like now? It’s funny I’m the one wondering. What with facebook and myspace and Twitter and all the other Internet tools it should be easy to find somebody. Problem is we met through some weird fate circumstances the first time, then bumped into one another again a couple semesters later because of some English 2 class. Then we just hit it off from that point.
Funny though as I don’t believe in fate or any of that crap anymore yet it was like fate meeting her and I guess I figure if we were ever to connect again, it would be up to some random fate. Yet I don’t believe in fate so go figure. Regardless I’d say I never met anybody as beautiful inside and out as her. But I guess there is a place and time for everything. Wrong place and wrong time then.
